Thoughts in the mind of l0oree

Archive for July 16, 2010

Positive Things in a Negative World

These are some of the positive things about me…..

I do not drink alcohol. I love my children. They are my most precious blessings. I am very smart. I think I am very loved by God. Because he hears and answers my prayers. Even though I am Christian I usually pray directly to God. I am a very good nurse with lots of empathy for my patients. Blessed with intellectual brains to get me through college during very stressful times. I was one of 30 chosen out of 400 applicants for nursing school. The stress I have endured in my life makes my life as a nurse really easier than most because this job that is stressful to most is not that stressful to me. I seem  able to make a stressful situation calmer. I move fast in life when necessary and slow down when things finish or like at a pause,for reasons like money, transportation, etc. I call this patience. It is truly a virtue that not many people have. Good things do come to those that wait. I am a mostly auditory learner. So listening and understanding come easy to me. I love music. . I am a fairly good clarinet player. I am beautiful on the inside. That beauty shines through to the world. I don’t argue with people. I usually compromise. Everyone has their own opinion however ridiculous it might seem to me. I don’t have to agree with it I have my own opinions.

I am to the point straight forward. Do not like to waste my time with losers, ( people who try to drain every thing from you without giving anything back ) I am successful because I am alive against bad odds. The devil must hate me. I see positive things in everyone. I model those positive qualities, Combine them and make them my own. I don’t want to repeat past mistakes so I try to see what happened in my past so I never go through that again. This way my future is brighter with less falling down. This is the reason history is a class.  Although history was always the one class I never did very good at lol. I always liked to watch the current events. History in its present form to make my life better for my generation. The news, tmz, current events that are never talked about in school. I loved to talk to my Grandma Ruby when she was alive. She actually lived in the Great Depression. Had twins told the mid wife after they were born I will pay you 10 dollars instead of 5 dollars. Put the twins in a shoebox to keep them warm. Punched wholes in the shoe box lol so they would not suffocate. back to me. I have respect for my elders even though I was so badly abused. I know their life had to suck really bad to take that out on me. Some things they went through I don’t want to understand. To understand some things you have to live through it and I never want to live through whatever made my parents so weird. 

 Another good quality about me is I am determined. I finish what I start. Might be a little late, might be not as good as I planned, might be obstacles in the way but I always find a way to get through them. I have a childlike heart. I don’t like to learn the hard way. I like to read the directions and look stuff up in the dictionary when I don’t know. I love babies I know they understand way more than they tell you.

I believe life is what you make it. I am happy with myself no matter what anyone else thinks. Through troubled times I gain inner strength from thinking good things about myself. Like I told you about me staying in my room. I would always exercise. Listen to music, write my thoughts in a journal, fix my hair and makeup till I knew I was pretty in the mirror. Did not matter to me what my mom thought. She would say I”m ” ugly, stupid, liar, going to hell, crazy, lazy, good for nothing” I would say to my self in the mirror just the opposite. lmao as an adult I told her ” I’m rubber your glue whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you”  As the mom, she is not the glue the role model to me. What ever mean things she says, I want them to bounce off  me and stay on her. One of my long-term goals is to become a writer some day. I made an A on every college paper written. The only red mark was very good metaphor. I love to write.