Thoughts in the mind of l0oree

Archive for July 18, 2010

Thoughts on Marriage


Marriage is the binding together of two people until death or divorce. The marriage ceremony shows the world that you are committed to this person  and also celebrates this union. It is one of the happiest days of your life.  I am blessed to have been married once.  I was married for nine years. He had come into my life at a time when I felt like I was damaged goods. I was 21 years old and a single mom.  I felt so loved because he did things for me that no one ever in my life had.  I was in LPN school living  on my own in my own apartment working as a Certified Nursing Assistant.  He was smart and fun to be with. He always made me smile. We made deams together and decided to marry. We married the friday of springbreak March 26th 1993.  After the wedding ceromony, he no longer did any of those things and became mean, obsessive, lazy, and bad going to jail time and again.  He never pursued any of the dreams we had made together.  I really tried the hardest I could to stay married. I supported us finacially for six out of nine years of marriage with me giving my check to him to  oversee the bills.  He would spend the money on drugs and alcohol.  I paid for him to go to drug rehab not once but twice.  He just got worse staying out all night; me worrying praying for his safety. I still had love for him even though he was so bad.  He had affairs no proof but a wife can just know especially since we had been together for nine years never apart sex everyday you just know.  He never admitted to it.  I still stayed unhappily married. Then one day he started telling me I was stupid because I had just misplaced the foodstamp card. I told him I was anything but stupid, and that the card was not lost just misplaced. Because I had not gone anywhere. How could I? He never left me any car at the house. In fact, I never drove hardly even when I was the only one working. Somehow he must of disagreed with me saying I was not stupid because he hit my face and knocked the glasses off so hard the nose piece came off.  That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I was not going to be verbally abused or physically abused in a marraige that is suppose to be happily ever after. I had enough of that as a child from my parents. So I prayed to God that he would make a way of escape.  The next week on July 4th my husband got a ticket for DWI and suspended drivers license, and speeding.  He was going 92 on the interstate with a case of beer.  He went to a jail this time in Pine Bluff .  He tried his usual lie to them of heart disease. This time the lie did not work for him to get out. I went and visited him at the jail, got his paycheck; and then found a rent house.  My kids and I were moving by myself, and on the way to make a load husband was walking down the road. He had made  a deal to be on house arrest.   Well, he moved with us.   He  neglected to pay the regstration fee for the ankle bracelet. About two weeks later, he got another speeding ticket and back to jail he went. This time I got an order of protection from the circuit clerks office. Stayed at my sister-in -laws house and applied for subsidized housing in a little town Rison, Arkansas population 1200.  This was the year 2001. 2002 are divorce final. I was a loving faithful wife for nine years. 

Well the celebration part was the best part.  I dream of a day I can marry my love Reg with a celebration that lasts forever.