Thoughts in the mind of l0oree

What My Father Stole From Me…….

One thing that saved me during the time of my abuse 1977 was Oparah. I was sexually penetrated by my father for a year once sometimes twice a day. Then found out caught red handed by my mother who did nothing but ask me what he did to me.  At the time, I was scared to say anything because father had threatened to kill me if I told anyone.  The time my father molested me he had just retired from the marines, then a four year call back overseas to vietnam. He spent 24 years in the marines.  His latest rank was master seargent. Even a grown-up at the time my father threatened me would of believed it. If you have ever been threatened by a marine corp master sergeant, you might know what I am talking about.  My father could give you a war face that could scare superman. 

I did tell mom that he tried to make me suck his peter. In which at the time thought was the grossest part of the ordeal.  My mom then spent one night on a pallet in my sister’s and mine bedroom.  Then went back to a shared bed with my father the next day.  My father never raped me again, but it did severe damage to my emotions.

Anyways, after school my parents were never home. I would always rush home and turn the television to Oparah.  My brother left in charge never wanted the television until after his homework and studies.  Whom ,by the way, never knew he was dyslexic until college after the marines. Those early shows of Oparah were all I had to assure me that my parents are sick.

Later about the age of 15 my father did apologize to me.  He said he raped me because I was adopted and my sister whom is six months younger is not adopted. I was the favorite child for the most six months because my mom was pregnant at the time of my adoption with my sister whom was born on Valentine’s Day 1971.  My birth certificate says my birthday is August 12, 1970.  I truly believe my mom had that day altered in the court so us girls could be in separate grades. For my mom is an identical twin herself. My supposedly birthday just so happens to fall one week before the cut off to start kindergarten at age 5.  The reason because my mom never had sex with him after my sister was born. I lived 17 years with this sick twisted family.

The day of my highschool graduation, my father threw me to the ground, kicked me and said get out of my house you lazy bum.

My father repented when I was 8. He never did the sexual abuse to me again. I always wonder if he hurt others instead. I carry guilt in my heart not knowing. Thinking that I never did enough to make sure he did not hurt someone else. All I can do now is give it to God like I do everything else in my life. God has answered so many of my prayers. I believe he will answer this one too. Father God please do not let my father on earth hurt another child, forgive him for what he did, heal him from the guilt he feels and please make the world a better place.

I have a victim letter stating he is guilty of penetration.  In 2007, the abuse hot-line opened up an investigation that I never knew I could even do until I was trying to open an investigation for my son whom at the time was living with my parents.


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