Thoughts in the mind of l0oree

Archive for December 19, 2011



Maladapting to your environment causes disorder and chaos.  Conflicts are the main things that start the ball rolling of a possible maladaptive behavior;  and if you think about it further, the emotions in your mind stemming from your deepest desires are what create the conflict.

You personally always choose whether the conflict result is going to be worth the maladaption.  If someone decides to not work was the fun of the memory of the day missed making the money worth the fun? You decide it’s your life. The choice is always in your hands.

I was a baby taken from a mom that was rumored to have been raped and having  put into an environment of abuse, neglect and chaos( the movie Jumanji always come to mind when thinking of my home up bringing environment) For the bargain price which is on my adoption paper of 135 dollars.  Was I worth the money? To be taken out of one environment and put in another?  It is also rumored that my bio-mom that was raped was psychologically scared for life; and although she was raped, she named me a name that means gift of God.  

Whatever the reasons are for both of my mom’s maladaptive behaviors it is my choice of my life of whatever I do.  I am not the reason for my bio-mom’s mental illness or the adoptive mom’s crazy mixed up desires.

Crazy mixed up desires are what I call the desires of a sociopath. They want to destroy by any means possible even if it means to appear better smarter than everyone around and do good deeds for evil reasons.  Evil reasons are that they want to basically rule authoritate control everyone and everything in their path even by means of buying them things and giving presents or bribes to get them to follow their lead.

To go even further back, my adoptive-mom has deep roots of being racist to the point that she still thinks the color of skin makes you better smarter etc….. she went to school at Little Rock Central High School during the first school immigration where blacks were for the first time able to go to school with Caucasian.  She was not on the civil side and proud of it not remorseful in the least.

This is what I would like to say to her if she would listen. I love you mom but you are so wrong and I am sincerely saddened that you think this. Why would anyone even a maladaptive person get beaten strung up and hung telling a lie that would put them in Hell?

The people you hurt mom and the people you saw killed or other torments were definitely dying for telling the truth because they were definitely terrified to tell a lie.  Lose their life, family, children and plus their afterlife?  The sadder part is the mob would have probably continued even after the person lied to twist the truth to try to keep peace any means possible. By saying yeah your right please don’t kill me. Who is the better for the situation? Neither according to your beliefs the person telling the lie is going to hell for saying yeah your right and you’re going to hell for killing.  Total chaos.


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