Thoughts in the mind of l0oree

Therapy Interupted by Clouds


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  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 22, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • country boy can survive looking for owls on a dark gravel road?  :o)

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 22, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • how did you get my post without being on my friends list?

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 22, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • just wondering

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 22, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • smartest kid in the class.  :o)

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 30, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • Hi this is Lori. You can call me please. My computer lost signal again. 9037807393

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 30, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Hi Lori,       It was nice meeting you and talking to you.  I wrote you on Liveperson, since you were having so many problems with your computer, if I could give you feedback based on what we were able to cover?  I’m glad to meet with you again of course, but if it’s stormy or rainy, telephone would be preferrable.       Unfortunately, according to Liveperson’s Terms of Service, I’m not allowed to call anyone off the system, but it does have a feature where you can call me on the system, if you’d like to try that instead of the computer in the future.  Please let me know.  Take good care.                                                          Ernest Wahrburg, LCSW.

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 30, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • thanks feedback would be nice. Thank you for your concern, patience, and nice talking to you.

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 30, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Lori:       Would you prefer to receive the feedback here on FB or back on Liveperson? Thanks, Ernest Wahrburg, LCSW.

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 30, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • Either way is ok but i can get to Fb on my phone. So Fb would be better for me.

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 30, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Ok Lori, FB it is.  Plan to get it done not later than tomorrow morning.  Take good care.

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 30, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Ok Lori,       Here goes some feedback, but please understand that I didn’t really get as far as I would have wanted to today, partly because of the computer problems, so some of my statements could be pre-mature, so please don’t take “anything to heart” at this point.       Based on our meeting today, I would say that your diagnosis is: Major depressive disorder, recurrent, moderate.
      However, you did mention a history of bipolar disorder and hypomania and I didn’t get a chance to explore that, so I will plan to do so if you’d like to meet again, and your “diagnosis” is certainly subject to some revision.       It’s clear that you had a profoundly difficult childhood.  From being adopted in infanthood, to having abusive parents, to being molested at the tender age of 7 for one year, to having an emotionally abusive mother.  All of these things, no doubt, take their emotional toll.  They would with anyone.  I actually feel a lot of admiration for your resiliency and ability to have survived thru all of that.  Further, youi not only survived, but you got yourself educated – you’re a healthcare professional, you’ve raised 2 children who sound like they’re doing well in life, you’ve done this as a single parent, you’re a productive member of society who’s managed not to get caught up in etoh or drug abuse despite the major adversities you’ve been thru, so I have admiration for you, in that respect as well.       Regarding your sleep, you seem to have initial insomnia, and I think you should seriously consider seeing a doctor to get a sleep aid, to help you get over that.  It could be possible, that your excessive sleep at times, might possibly be related to the initial insomnia, your body trying to catch up on that lost sleep, so there are possible additional benefits besides not struggling to get to sleep.       At 5ft 2in. and 180 lbs., I would agree with you that dieting and exercising are important and could be very beneficial to you.  Exercising, I’m sure you know is well documented to be helpful with depression, even on a chemical level by stimulating the production of the brain’s natural anti-depressant medication.  I’m a bit concerned about being awakened to urinate twice nightly.  I understand that you’ve had a lot of improvement in that area, but you’ve also been off of Risperdal x 4 yrs., so it’s difficult to see how that could be directly involved.  I think it’s something you should check out with your physician, for the present, and to try to prevent a potential future problem.       You seem to struggle quite a bit, with getting going on non-work days, getting out of bed, dressed, showered, out of the house, etc.  I think that’s part of the depression and I feel like you need to do some work in overcoming that.  Sleeping 12 hours is generally unhealthy and will tend to perpetuate depression.  Fighting the temptation to sleep that much, getting over the hump, to get out of bed, dressed, groomed and go outside and do something productive, will tend to help you to overcome your depression.  Having 2 children, still at an age where they depend on you, can be used as motivation in helping you to combat this.  In order to be the best mother you can be, you need to be the best person you can be, and anything you can do to diminish your depression, is going to help you to be a better and more productive individual and mother.      Being as future oriented in your thinking, as goal oriented in your behavior as possible are components of combatting depression, just as exercising is.  Doing instead of thinking, socializing instead of isolating are all basic things to do to combat depression.  Having a confidante and not holding in a lot of negative emotions, but sharing them with someone who is trustworthy, will help combat depression.  Being part of a group, like attending religious services with some regularity tends to diminish people’s depression.       The abuse that you endured was heinous.  It seems clear that some “reconstructive work” needs to be done there.  What I mean by that, is that when a child gets abused in a serious and chronic way as you have, there is a tendency to develop certain false beliefs about oneself and certain ways of thinking that are potentially distorted and unhealthy.  A very simple example of something that transpired in our session that I think might actually relate to abuse, was when you asked me early on, something like if I needed to go and tend to someone else who might need some help.  We had exchanged quite a few emails and made an agreement to meet, so that was “your time” and you appeared worried if someone else might be in need.  I think when a child is badly abused, there is a tendency to feel like “you don’t count”.  To feel like, “it’s not my turn yet, I can deal with my stuff, I’m not that important, I can wait, I can cope, etc. versus “claiming your time”, stating your needs, and accepting support and help from others.  It’s somewhat of a big leap from your simple statement/question, but I have a feeling it may be accurate.       Well, I’m going to wrap up for today, but please know that I do welcome feedback about what I’ve said, or about our session, good or bad!  So, please don’t hesitate.  Again, it’s been nice meeting you and getting to know you and if you’d like to have another session or regular sessions, I’m glad to do that.  Please let me know what your current thoughts are on that, and if you desire, we can schedule another meeting.  Hope to talk to you more later. Take Care, Ernest Wahrburg, LCSW.

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 30, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • Thanks I will make a doctors appointment on Monday. I think you are so right about me tending to put myself last.  I would love some “reconstructive work” 🙂 I am off work until Tuesday. What would be a good time?

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Excellent, thanks for getting back to me.  Glad you plan to make a doctor’s appt.  I work in a group private practice on Mon., Tues., Thurs. and Fri.  If you’d like to move forward soon therefore, today, Sun. would be the best option.  I don’t know what time you’ll wake up and see this message, but when you do, get back to me, and we can plan a time, if you’d like to meet today.  My only question would be how the weather is by you, regarding your computer’s performance.  Take care.  Hope to speak to you later.

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • Good Morning! I think my computer is better today. Clouds are gone. Two bars instead of one, and I have been on for 10 minutes so far without disruption. Meeting today would be great!

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Ok, good to hear!  What time would be good for you?

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • @2, 3 your time?

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • ok, so 3PM EST?

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • yes

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Ok, would the same fee for 60min. be alright, not too stressful for you?

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • yes would be fine. But this would have to be my last one until next payday. February 12

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • well, so as not to have such a big lapse, I’d be glad to halve the fee, if that helps, or even throw in a session gratis, or do email exchange.  I’m happy to work with you.  :o)

    • For today, do u have a specific topic you’d like to discuss?

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • I would like to discuss coping mechanisms as an adult instead of reverting back to childhood mechanisms. I think that is part of my depression and one thing I did as a child was stay in my room and not ever talk to anyone for like 8 y/o until 17.

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Ok, I think in order to discuss that in an effective manner, we would need to explore some of the abuse experiences, to develop an understanding of how those childhood mechanisms developed and why you may be vulnerable to reverting back to them at times.  Would you be comfortable with some discussion of the childhood abuse, with that objective?

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • I would go in my closet and cry. Because crying or laughing was not allowed by my father. He is german descent. His grandparents  imigrated from Germany.

    • yes I would be comfortable

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Yes, I understand.  I am of German descent as well.  See you later then.  Take care.  :o)

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • ty:-)

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • things that are positive about me

      I do not drink alcohol. I love my children. They are my most precious blessings. I am very smart. I think I am very loved by God. Because he hears and answers my prayers. Even though I am Christian I usually pray directly to God. I am a very good nurse with lots of empathy for my patients. I am blessed with brains to get me through college during very stressful times. I was one of 30 chosen out of 400 applicants for nursing school. The stress I have endured in my life makes my life as a nurse really easier than most because this job that is stressful to most is not that stressful to me. I seem to be able to make a stressful situation calmer. I move fast in life when necessary and slow down when things are acccomplished or like at a pause,for reasons like money, transortation, etc. I call this patience. It is truely a virtue that not many people have. Good things do come to those that wait.  I am a mostly auditory learner. So lisening and understanding come easy to me.  I I love music. . I am a fairly good clarinet playerl

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Oh, ok – thank you, you did that very fast.  That’s a good sign.  Don’t hesitate to add more if you’d like, before we meet again.  It’s been nice working with you.  Hope you have a good week and take care.

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • I am beautiful on the inside. That beauty shines through to the world. I don’t argue with people. I usually compromise. Everyone is entitled to there own opinion however ridiculous it might seem to me. I don’t have to agree with it I have my own opinions.

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • I am to the point straight forward. Do not like to waste my time with loosers, ( people that try to drain every thing from you without giving anything back ) I am successful because I am alive against bad odds. The devil must hate me. I see positive things in everyone. I model those positive qualities, Combine them and make them my own. I don’t want to repeat past mistakes so I try to see  what happened in my past so I never go through that again. This way my future is brighter with less falling down. This is the reason history is a class.

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • Although history was always the one class I never did very good at lol

    • I always liked to watch the current events. History in its present form to make my life better for my generation.

    • The news, tmz, current events that are never talked about in school.  I loved to talk to my Grandma Ruby when she was alive.  She actually lived in the Great Depression.  Had twins told the mid wife after they were born I will pay you 10 dollars instead of 5 dollars. Put the twins in a shoebox to keep them warm. Punched wholes in the shoe box lol so they would not suffacate.

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • back to me. I have respect for my elders even though I was so badly abused.  I know there life had to suck really bad to take that out on me. Some things they went through I don’t want to understand. To understand some things you have to live through it and I never want to live through whatever made my parents so weird.

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Well, I really am glad to read that you do have many positive feelings about yourself!!  That’s great to see.  One important item that we didn’t get to last time relates to bipolar disorder/hypomania, so let’s plan to do that at the beginning of our next session.  I’d appreciate if you remind me, in case I seem to have forgotten.  Thanks Lori.

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Lori, do you ever seem to go thru a period of time, when you can get by on no, or almost no sleep?

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • Yes

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Have you ever had a period of time where you went on shopping sprees, and have spent money in a manner disproportionate to what you were really able to afford?

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • when I am manic I don’t sleep at all. I went like 2 weeks before without sleeping. That was before my hospitalization after lpn school. Then my mom taking away my son did not help much to ease the depression after my manic phase was over.

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Yes, your mom sounds very opportunistic and I’m sorry to hear that!

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • I am pretty much not a big spender except on my kids

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Ok, that sounds good.  Did u ever go on spending splurges for them, where your spending was disproportionate to what was really realistic for you to spend?

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • when I started Rn nursing school. I was neg 400 dollars in my account I worked and paid my own way through  one semester at a time

    • while liveing in a one bedroom efficiency apartment all bill paid.

    • rent 450 a month

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Have you ever felt like you were involved in so many different projects, so extremely busy, that you had so many balls in the air, that it was difficult to juggle them all without dropping any of the balls?

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • that included lights, water and gas and local phone and cable

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • ok, that really doesn’t sound like a problem, just typical financial stresses during youthful years of education.

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • no but I have taken like 5 showers a day . one day seemed like a year.

    • yes I am wondering when finacial stress ever ends?

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • you took five showers a day, for some prolonged time period?  What was making you feel the need to do that?

    • lol, yeah, in today’s economy, I think we all are.

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • to keep my self healthy while being awake becasuse I was moving because I gave my landlord only half the rent so I could afford toliet paper. and I came home from work to my door being taken off its hinges. with a note saying if I want my door back pay me my rent

    • then another note saying do I need to take your door off again?

    • so I was moving putting my stuff in my car and moving it to my friends grandfather’s back house.

    • I made the mistake of calling my mom and leaving a detailed budget on her answering machine because she woudl not answer the phone

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Wow, that’s some way of operating as a landord!  That took a lot of nerve!  Did you have an ongoing problem with this landlord?

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • she showed up at my house saying “get the behind me satan”  I pushed her out the door and locked it.

    • I did not need the extra stress

    • yeah I went and stayed at a friend’s house. The lanlord then left a eviction letter on the door

    • I called up the landlord said I am not breaking the lease you are the one breaking the lease I will stay and pay you your money. He then said I could move without paying the lease

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Wow, he sounds very unprofessional!

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • lol then my mom came and got me in her car. Was taking me to where she lives. Me telling her no I have to work next day was working in dialysis still in training. so when we got to a red light I reached to open the door to get out. My sister in back seat caught the door. Parents pulled up in liquor store parking lot to buy coke while sister called paramedics to come get me

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • In terms of feeling totally overwhelmed with projects, tasks and ideas, did u ever feel like you had so many balls in the air, that it was difficult to maintain your pace without dropping some of the balls?

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • they told them I tried to jump out the van. Took me to er. er doctor said I could go home with someone staying with me. So my parents took me home left my sister there. I was up all night packing. I woke her up to ask to use her cell phone to call my friend. She called the police on me

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • then I went to jail. cuz when the police got there I slapped her when I realized she called them cuz I was trying to tell the cop to get her out of my house.

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • You slapped your mom?

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • I stayed in jail til monday they took me to er then to psychiatric hospital. then I was served with papers with my mom having custody of my son

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • I slapped my sister in my own yard and went to jail for that

    • the judge nol pros though by request of the officer

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • have u ever had any difficulty with being physically assaultive of others?

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • no but that was uncalled for her to call the police over me just asking to borrow her cell phone to call a friend she could of just said no and went back to bed

    • lmao my sister 5′ 11 german blood. That was very brave of me at 5’2 only 120 lbs then

    • I was hypomanic at the time that was my diagnosis at the hospital

    • I would probably never be that brave again in my life

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Have u ever had a period of time where u felt like your behavior was wreckless, overly risky, promiscuous, where u drove extremely fast or engaged in any other potentially dangerous activities for a prolonged time period?

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • I was in the hospital for 2 weeks my boss was so sweet she gave me my sick leave and vacation pay never missed a pay check

    • I was permiscuous once led to me having my first baby. So good things do happen by accident she is living proof.

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • sorry, I didn’t follow, what did you feel so brave about?

    • Yes, they do.  But you never had a period of time when you felt that you acted in a promiscuous manner?

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • Her dad I met at a party told him he was the cutest guy I have ever seen and you are taking me home tonight. We had sex. We dated after that for about 3 months he moved in with me. He had trust issues naturally because of how we met. So one day I come home from a workout at the gym. He is not there. I go to sleep wake up and he is in the living room sleeping with another girl. I kick him out go to the clinic to make sure he did not give me a disease. Find out I am pregnant. That was my 21st birthday. My best friend gave me the dollar for the check up for a bithday gift.

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • I felt brave because my sister is very mean. She shows her anger toward others very mean. I saw her drop kick her puppy once all the way across the yard. And she used to tell me you better move. When she says that you better cuz she will hit the first thing in sight.

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Omg, so you actually caught him in the act and managed not to freak out and kept your cool?

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • Ya I just told him to get out.

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • This is a pretty nifty way of communicating, huh?  :o)

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • Then found out that afternoon i was pregnant with his baby

    • Ya

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • I’m so sorry that you’ve been treated so abusively by men, and by women too, for that matter.

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • and she so tall. all my family is tall the only one shorter than me in everyone in the family is my 12 y/o son. even my 15 y/o nephew is like 6’2 inches tall

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    January 31, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Have you been feeling especially “charged up” tonight?

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • not really. just exiciting someone I can talk to about this crazy life. Helps me sort through my actions and thoughts and seeming to be normal. I have never had anyone to really talki too.

    • no one understands this much craziness.  My life is like the movie jumanji. One crazy thing after another. I want a stop to the craziness and peace and happiness.

    • Sharing my past has something to do with fixing that I would talk till it transpired because that is how much I want that.

    • another good quality about me I am determined. I finish what I start. Might be a little late, might be not as good as I planned, might be obstacles in the way but I always find a way to get through them.

    • I have a childlike heart. I don’t like to learn the hard way. I like to read the directions and look stuff up in the dictionary when I don’t know.

    • I love babies I know they understand way more than they tell you.

    • I believe life is what you make it. You can be happy with yourself no matter what anyone else thinks. Through troubled times you can get inner strength from thinking good things about yourself. Like I told you about me staying in my room. I would always exercise. Listen to music, write my thoughts in a journal, fix my hair and makeup till I knew I was pretty in the mirror. Did not matter to me what my mom thought. She would say I”m ” ugly, stupid, liar, going to hell, crazy, lazy, good for nothing”  I would say to my self in the mirror just the opposite.

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • lmao as an adult I told her ” your rubber I’m glue whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you”

    • I’m rubber your glue

    • as the mom she is suppose to be the glue the role model but she not to me.What ever mean things she says I want them to bounce off of me and stay on her.

    • I always drive slow. only had one speeding ticket in my life was going 45 in a 40

    • one of my long term goals is to be a writer some day. I made a on every college paper written. only red mark was very good metaphor. i love to write.

  • Doreen Van Assen

    January 31, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • I am going to bed now. Just going to comment on someone’s status. Was requested that i do. Night.

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    February 1, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • My most sincere apologies Lori!!!  I know I left rather abruptly.  There was actually a national news story that broke, which has some peripheral involvement to me, at my former workplace.  Just in case you have any interested, I’ve posted it on my FB page.  Again, my sincere apology for leaving abruptly.  Hope all is well with you.  Good night.  :o)

  • Doreen Van Assen

    February 1, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • No apology needed. Please take care. I know you can get back to here anytime. I just quit writing because I was sleepy.

    • about my hypomania: it is like the world is spinning too fast to catch up. Anxiety, fear,stress motivate you to try to do the almost impossible. You feel like you will die if you don’t get it accomplished. It is a very hard thing to explain.

    • you talk in word salad, because your thoughts are going to fast for your mouth to speak them

    • if you don’t clear your brain of those thoughts you loose total control of yourself

    • while I was manic i did stress relieve things over and over like take 5 bubble baths a day. exercise pray eat more I don’t know why but I felt like I was going to die like my heart was going to stop. After going to jail while at er my potassium was critical low. only 2.2

    • it was diagnosis as hypokalemia of unknown etiology

    • I ate tons of salt substitute oranges bananas potatoes my potassium came to just 3.5

    • I have always wondered why my potassium was so low?

  • Doreen Van Assen

    February 1, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • it’s like your body will actually start to shut down trying to survive the stress. I believe stress can kill you.

    • I thank God that night that I did go to jail and er and to hospital. I might would of died otherwise.

  • Doreen Van Assen

    February 1, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • the next manic episode happened one year later. I was living in Corsicana, texas as a travel nurse. My son was still at my parents. I would talk to my mom and she would ask me what I said to my son to make him cry. The only thing I would say was that I love you more than anything no matter where we are in the world. Asked him if he needed anything. He told me his shoes were too small. I told him i would send a package in the mail. I was worried that my parents were neglecting my sons needs and emotional abuse. I confided in a friend at work. There advise was to call the abuse hotline. For some weird reason texas won’t investigate arkansas. probably to do with politics and money. anyway i became manic again not sleeping. this time i was delusional and having auditory hallucinations. It was like I was talking directly to God and he was talking back to me. God told me I did not have those parents anymore. That he was my dad now and he would take care of me. That he made me his direct descendant and my dna goes back to adam and eve. That the dna proves who I am. We also talked about Jesus that he was my brother. God has way more children than just Jesus. Jesus was the one that endured so much for everyone. anyways I was basically just in our world. I went outside in a see through shirt with nothing on underneath I was talking to not only God but demons as well. The demons were trying to pull me down. I actually had bruises all up and down my legs. Well I finally went to sleep and had a nightmare about the end of the world. The dream was like a movie and no matter which way it was played backwards or forwards it was the same peace for thousands of years all that needed to happen was my parents be locked up. I woke up from my dream to my mom ringing my doorbell. I would not answer. Then cops came. I opened the door they grabbed me. Threw me on the ground shackled and cuffed me and took me to psychiatric hospital in dallas. You are the only person i have ever told about the hallucinations. anyways I was in hospital for

  • Doreen Van Assen

    February 1, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • the next manic episode happened one year later. I was living in Corsicana, texas as a travel nurse. My son was still at my parents. I would talk to my mom and she would ask me what I said to my son to make him cry. The only thing I would say was that I love you more than anything no matter where we are in the world. Asked him if he needed anything. He told me his shoes were too small. I told him i would send a package in the mail. I was worried that my parents were neglecting my sons needs and emotional abuse. I confided in a friend at work. There advise was to call the abuse hotline. For some weird reason texas won’t investigate arkansas. probably to do with politics and money. anyway i became manic again not sleeping. this time i was delusional and having auditory hallucinations. It was like I was talking directly to God and he was talking back to me. God told me I did not have those parents anymore. That he was my dad now and he would take care of me. That he made me his direct descendant and my dna goes back to adam and eve. That the dna proves who I am. We also talked about Jesus that he was my brother. God has way more children than just Jesus. Jesus was the one that endured so much for everyone. anyways I was basically just in our world. I went outside in a see through shirt with nothing on underneath I was talking to not only God but demons as well. The demons were trying to pull me down. I actually had bruises all up and down my legs. Well I finally went to sleep and had a nightmare about the end of the world. The dream was like a movie and no matter which way it was played backwards or forwards it was the same peace for thousands of years all that needed to happen was my parents be locked up. I woke up from my dream to my mom ringing my doorbell. I would not answer. Then cops came. I opened the door they grabbed me. Threw me on the ground shackled and cuffed me and took me to psychiatric hospital in dallas. You are the only person i have ever told about the hallucinations. anyways I was in hospital for

  • Doreen Van Assen

    February 1, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • two weeks. diagnosed as psychotic episode

  • Doreen Van Assen

    February 1, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • Both times in the hospital I was there on Halloween, and election day.

  • Doreen Van Assen

    February 1, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • My next hospitalization happened about 4 months later this is when I was diagnosed as bipolar. I will let you catch up and tell you more later. If you decide you want to hear more after what I have already said.

  • Doreen Van Assen

    February 6, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • Bipolar disorder/hypomania

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    February 6, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • I guess I would like to stay as present focused as possible and concentrate on how you’re feeling in most recent times, what you feel your strongest current needs are, and how you feel those needs could best be met in the future.  To be perfectly honest with you Lori, and this is not meant as a criticism, as I recall asking you for details, but the barrage of details about manic episodes and hypomania, can be a bit disorienting, and feels like it’s diverging away from a productive goal oriented session.  I would like to maximize the help that I can offer you, so what are your current priorities that we can work on?/

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    February 6, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • I guess I would like to stay as present focused as possible and concentrate on how you’re feeling in most recent times, what you feel your strongest current needs are, and how you feel those needs could best be met in the future.  To be perfectly honest with you Lori, and this is not meant as a criticism, as I recall asking you for details, but the barrage of details about manic episodes and hypomania, can be a bit disorienting, and feels like it’s diverging away from a productive goal oriented session.  I would like to maximize the help that I can offer you, so what are your current priorities that we can work on?/

  • Doreen Van Assen

    February 6, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • 1. Taking positive steps forward to be assertive. Taking criticism and not getting upset. Others perception of me. Feeling confident in my decisions.

    • I tend to always put myself last. Even with things I am good at it seems I lack confidence in myself. Does that even make sense?

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    February 6, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Yes, Lori.  All of that does make complete sense!!  The reason I say that is because when a child is badly abused rather than being nurtured, rather than being loved, assisted in their emotional development, sense of self, having their self esteem enhanced, etc., those are exactly the type of results that take place.  So, is this the basic topic you’d like to pursue at out next meeting?

  • Doreen Van Assen

    February 6, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • Yes I would love that. It will help me in all aspects of my life.

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    February 6, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Ok, did you prefer to do this today or tomorrow and around what time?  How do things look in terms of your computer’s reception and the weather?  I recall you saying that you won’t be paid again till the middle of the month, so that you wanted to have a big lapse in meetings because of the $18.00 fee.  Would you be able to do a nominal fee of $4.50 for about an hour and a quarter, and that would also provide me with a statistical rating?  Please advice.                                                                                Thanks Doreen

  • Doreen Van Assen

    February 6, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • how about 6est?

  • Doreen Van Assen

    February 6, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • the nominal fee would be very fair. Your valuable input is priceless.

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    February 6, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • That’s very sweet of you to say Lori.  I do appreciate it.  I’m sorry that I’m just seeing your message now.  I could make it tonight between 8PM and 9:15PM EST, if that works for you.  Please advise.  Thanks

  • Doreen Van Assen

    February 6, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • 8:30pm est

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    February 6, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • You’d like to begin at 8:30PM EST Lori?  That’s fine with me.  See you then.

  • Doreen Van Assen

    February 6, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • I appologize Mr. Wahrburg.  I had something happen and had to take care of it. Please forgive me for not coming to our appointment.

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    February 7, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Yes, I understand Lori – it’s not a problem.  Would you like to meet this morning?  If so, does 9AM EST work for you?  Take care.

  • Doreen Van Assen

    February 7, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • yes

  • Doreen Van Assen

    February 7, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • I was disconnected again when you were saying now I can sta….. what comes next? I can not get back to reconnect says you are busy

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    February 7, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • I’m sorry.  I don’t remember Lori.  It seemed like it was a good stopping point.  Do you want to schedule another meeting?  If so what is a good day/time?  Ernie

  • Doreen Van Assen

    February 7, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • Tuesday all day, thursday after 3, or friday night

    • Tuesday all day, thursday after 3, or friday night

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    February 7, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Ok Lori, thanks that was a quick response.  How about Thurs. @ 8:30PM EST?

  • Doreen Van Assen

    February 7, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • Ok

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    February 7, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Ok, thanks – I’m writing it down.  Can I just ask you if our mtg. today felt helpful to you?

  • Doreen Van Assen

    February 7, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • Yes at first i did not think it would until you got to the part about being my own mom. I think this will help a lot. 🙂 My emotions are so sensitive. T

    • his will help tremendously. Thanks.

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    February 7, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • You’re very welcome.  Great to hear!!  :o)

  • Doreen Van Assen

    February 11, 2010

    Doreen Van Assen

    • I need to reschedule my appointment

  • Ernest Wahrburg

    February 11, 2010

    Ernest Wahrburg

    • Sure, how about either Sat AM, Sun night, say 830 or later, Wed AM or Wed 830PM or later?  Thanks.

    • Oh, Sun. AM is also a possibility.  :o)

Ernest is typing …
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  • Men r so full of sh$t I would say replant & grow a new field of them but then wht good would tht do & people wonder y I would rather stay sleep! #wokeup2bs

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  • Glen Sorensen and 86 others like this.
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    • Julian BrachfeldNever gonna happen… and if I’m going down, I swear I’ll be taking some of “them” with me.

      19 hours ago · “}’>LikeUnlike · 12
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    • Julian BrachfeldWe are armed… we are not yet fully organized.. nor do we have the set required to do what we must… because we have families that need us and myriad other personal reasons… not to mention the NDAA clauses allowing our runaway government to make us disappear in the night never to be heard from again…

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    • Chris SpratlinThey won’t do it on the up and up. It will be on the sly piece by piece. Europeans cannot own a weapon of any sort even a hunting rifle is a lot of red tape. We are blessed… We are the only country like this…

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  • Victor Davis Hanson says the Obama administration’s release of covert details of the war on terror — what he calls “Securitygate” —  is far more serious than either Watergate or Iran-Contra. Read the article, and let us know if you agree.

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my dauther birthday — Profile Pictures
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