Thoughts in the mind of l0oree

Posts tagged “children


Doreen meaning: Gift from God

My birth Grandma’s name Dora Willamina means Gift protector.

My birth mom’s name Till ora Henrietta means prayed for home ruler.

My ex husband named our son. I had no choice of our baby’s first name. My son’s father was not present at his first son’s birth. He had driven a big truck. When he arrived at the hospital, his wife at the time had already given their first-born son a name. So, as compassionate as I am, let ex husband totally decide our son’s name. I could not imagine the pain it must be not given the choice to name your first-born child.

At my first born’s delivery, the dad was not there. I called, left messages and called all his friends —>whom I knew he hung out with and would get the message to him that our child was being born. I was so scared. For the past 2 months MD had put me on complete bedrest. I had edema to the point you could not tell by poking as far as possible that I had an ankle bone. My foot that usually wore size 6.5 could only fit into my sister’s size 10 flip-flops.

The last checkup at the health department the MD said,” you are having this baby today”, two weeks before our baby’s due date. My blood pressure was >200/110. I was in labor with mag drip and the other drip for 15 hours. For 14 of those hours, no pain medication at all; for I was not dilated at all.  Because our child was not in the birth canal yet,  a stretchy girdle like binder was placed around the tummy on top of the two monitors as tightly as possible.  With mag drip you go through hot flashes that feel as though you will die without air and then periods when you are shivering cold. The nurse would get warming blanket one minute the next some cool ice chips and a fan.

I did not have a name picked out for our baby.  The only ultra-sound  had been at the beginning  3 months. The length of our baby’s femur bone determined our baby’s due date.  Laboring like this all night,  the MD comes to room and speaks to the nurse” all she has to do now is push.” No c-section needed.  Our baby’s head was anterior instead of posterior. Although maxed out on the epidural to the point I could not even move my legs, our baby’s head  was pushing on my tailbone and creating the most pain ever.  My mom so sweet held up my legs for me.  I pushed for two hours and finally was brisk away to the delivery room. MD came in did small episiotomy and our baby girl was out in two pushes with MD using the tongs to direct our baby girl’s head.

She was the most beautiful baby girl. Eyes wide open looking at me. Wow was the only thought on my mind at that moment. Next, I went to shared room with a chick that had had her baby at home and was ambulanced to the hospital with the cord still attached.  I kept calling the nursery. I wanted, needed my only blood kin that I had ever met in my life right beside me. I would ask every time has our baby slept? The nursery would say no she has not slept. The last memory  had been her eyes wide open staring at me. I could not sleep at all. Finally, 12 hours past the nursery said our daughter had her first bowel movement and could come to the room.  She never left out of the room after that. I wanted our baby near me always. The next morning I weighed I lost 70 pounds over night. I weighed 115 the day I found out I was pregnant and 205 the last MD appointment.

The nurse came to the room with papers to name her.  I called her dad over and over to come to the hospital. Dad never came. I looked at MY baby girl now; seems like not OUR baby anymore.  Now I must have the right to name her without any help.  I looked at her and said,” she looks like a very beautiful Sabrina.  Ya I like the sound of Sabrina Vinson”. I looked to my mom the only one with me of my whole life history during one of the most scariest times of my life and said, “I will name her after you>. Sabrina Fay Vinson.”

Troy Lyn Vinson never came. The hospital nurse explained that the father has to come sign the birth certificate for Vinson to be her last name. So now definitely she was mine no one elses, totally dependent on only me.

I was in the hospital an extra day due to my blood pressure was still >180/100 on 2 blood pressure medications. The obstetrician had a cardiologist come see me. The MD made my mom promise I would have help with my baby and stay on complete bed rest to let me go home.  Fay Maurice Baugh Schreiner looked at the MD and said yes I will. Next, mom even signed  discharge papers agreeing that she would do that.

Once home, I put my little sweet girl in the small cradle right beside my bed.  Mother never not one time picked up my baby girl. Mom’s husband told me the next day- “you need to move because THE baby was getting on”…… Fay Maurice Baugh Schreiner’s nerves.

So the very next day, I dressed, got my baby dressed and went to health department for my baby girl’s WIC formula all by myself.  Which now I am strong enough for the both of us. Not just a me anymore. I enrolled in a gym. Next  mom told me Lori Ann if you can go to a gym you can work. So on my one week visit after birth I kindly ask the MD if I could go back to work and I did JUST LIKE THAT> “you move I move just like that, hey DJ bring that back…..,Ludacris.


He did not want a short first name, for he had gone all his life with three first names. He was not happy with the name, Paul Eric Gregg. He never mentioned why it bothered him so much, but it did.

I never bought a baby book or anything to look up meanings to decide the name. Paul said,” I will name him when I see him.” Presuming my ex husband was leery for some slight chance could not be at the hospital in time to give the name he chose; the week before due, Paul said, “I want  Nathaniel as the first name and you can decide the middle name.”

Wow! I was huge, big with nothing to do all day. I had in mind before Paul decided  Nathaniel possibly Nicholas since due date was Christmas. This name did not sound right.  I thought long about what name to give to my son. I searched everywhere for boy names.  I read every one of them with the name Nathaniel. The only name that I liked how it sounded with Nathaniel is Ryan.

MEANING: God Given Little King (watchers)

I never looked up the meaning of this name until 2009. I was like wow that is so cool. When my son was infant I would call him king and the boss. Then later that year I randomly received e-mail with a birth cousin with asking me if I would like my birth genealogy.   Last year I was curious about the  meanings of my ancestors, so I researched them.  Anyways, I  think it is cool how the name’s meanings correlate; especially since, we have never in our lives met except on the one day that my birth mom gave me the one and only thing ever the Name Doreen Van Assen.

Give is part of me. I am a gift,  my son is a gift, my grandma is a gift protector. My mom is a home ruler, my son a little king. The names so connected….. a name is one of the most special gifts ever.